Mounting With Wings

Guest Author: Hannah Riddle

Motherhood.

Beautiful, exhausting, ordinary, kingdom work.

Since becoming a mom myself, I’ve gained a deeper appreciation for my own amazing mother. I understand now, in ways I never could before, the joys and burdens she carried while raising four energetic children.

One thing my mom did while we were kids was keep a motherhood journal. Inside were milestones, funny stories, cute little things we had said, and pieces of our lives preserved on paper as we grew from babies into adults. Often on our birthdays she would pull out her journal and read our birth stories aloud while we ate a meal. It was a sweet family tradition.

Now I find myself following in her footsteps, keeping a motherhood journal of my own. Sometimes I share little snippets with her, and she smiles and says my thoughts and writing reminds her of her own when we were little.

I love remembering all the meaningful memories Mom and I have shared together over the years. Sometimes these memories fade in the changes and busyness of our lives, but I don’t want to ever forget them.

My mind goes back to the times when we all were picking wild raspberries along our country road or when we would be canning tomatoes or applesauce in the kitchen together. She made countless delicious healthy meals that now I appreciate even more since carrying the responsibility of keeping my own kids healthy and well fed. She truly was a Proverbs 31 woman and still is.

One memory that always makes me smile is a trip to a youth conference when it was just the two of us. We became so wrapped up in conversation that we completely missed our exit and drove miles out of the way before realizing it. We’ve also spent countless afternoons thrift shopping together, hunting for treasures and bargains. Mom has always been our fashion consultant, our sounding board, and our safe place for sharing ideas.

I’ve had a front row seat to watch her love in action… whether it’s giving shoes to some little orphan kids in Honduras, hosting hungry high school or college students at our home, planning fun homeschool field trips, spending quality time with her kids and adopted kids, faithfully supporting her husband in ministry, and now writing blog posts with her eyes that inspire thousands.

I’ve never, ever questioned her love for my siblings and me which is a gift in and of itself. She has always shown us by her words and actions that we are so special to her. She truly loves deeply and unselfishly and I’m privileged to be her firstborn daughter.

Years ago, she gave me a little pillow that read:

“A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be your friend.”

That’s exactly who she became to me—one of my very best friends.

And she still is.

Even now, she is still the loving, caring, supportive mother she has always been. When motherhood overwhelms me, she listens. When I’m discouraged, she comforts me. When life feels heavy, she prays for me.

Things look different these days than either of us once imagined. There have been moments where tears have filled both our eyes as we grieved what ALS has taken from this season of life. Just the other day, while caring for her, I told her how much I wished she could come over to play with the kids in the sandbox or bake sourdough bread with me in the kitchen.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she typed out on her Tobii device:

“I wish so much I could be giving back and helping you and not just being more work for you.”

But she doesn’t realize the blessing she still is. She still gives so much.

She still comforts.
Still listens.
Still encourages.
Still plans.
Still prays.
Still loves immensely.

I’m so thankful she is still here to hear her grandchildren’s laughter, see their sparkling eyes, and enjoy their hugs and cuddles. I love sending her little videos and pictures often so she can still be part of their everyday moments, even from her bed.

And even now, she’s still the person I go to for almost everything—hard motherhood days, tears of overwhelm, new baking adventures, ideas for gatherings and meals, or simply when I need reassurance.

ALS may have changed many things. But it did not take away her motherhood.

She’s still Mom.

And I thank God that He gave her to me.
She is one of His greatest gifts in my life.

And one day, when heaven makes all things whole again, I’ll finally get one of her mama hugs again and wrap my arms around her so tight. I love you mom forever and always.